Out Damn Hip, Out

That's kind of how I have been feeling lately about my right hip. I'll start on a positive note though and say my left has been doing well -- a few tweaks here and there, some aching and pinching but little inflammation or pain and it has been only 3 weeks since surgery. Left hip seems to have benefitted from the surgery at least as far as I can tell while the repeat offender is just furious with me for subjecting it to another round.

I know I'm supposed to be kind to myself and my body and support and nourish it through this traumatic event. I have been eating well, limiting my alcohol intake (er, this week at least), taking loads of vitamins and supplements and trying to get enough sleep. But frankly, I can't shake the overwhelming feeling that my right hip is just a rotten body part that has ceased to function properly or even at all. It can no longer be counted on to be the largest weight bearing joint in my body and take care of the rest of the muscles, tendons and ligaments around it - not to mention my knee, ankle and back. I've tried to give it every chance it deserved to stay around but I'm pretty certain its given up the fight. I can really say I've tried everything under the sun to keep this hip of mine -- 2 major surgeries, countless hours of PT, thousands of dollars in injections and experimental treatments and close to two years of rest from most impact activities. And I know that because its only 3 weeks from surgery everyone will say I haven't given it enough time but the truth is its the same old pain I've had since the spring of 2008 and its worse rather than better from all the inflammation that comes with surgery (see attached photo of angry hip). Orthopedic miracles do occasionally happen and I would (and did) put my money on Dr. Sampson any day to make one happen if it was going to happen. But my instinct still says my body will ultimately be better served by a shiny new ball and socket compliments of Smith and Nephew. I will dutifully wait it out another four or six months to see if things improve but my gut is telling me to get this rotten joint out of my body and let the rest of it heal from having spent years compensating for and protecting a busted body part.

As one would imagine, it has been tough to go from being moderately active and in a modest amount of pain pre-op to being completely sedentary and in more pain post-op. But this journey has always been about ups and downs and just believing I would have a better result this time doesn't ultimately change the outcome. It just makes it a bit harder to accept when its all said and done and the immediate fog of recovery starts to clear. Alas, one day this will hopefully be a distant memory and I can classify it as "Amy's hip era - circa 2008-2010" and days will go by in which I do not think of said hip.