To Belgium or India or New York?

That is really the only relevant question at this point. After this last flare up in which I was literally bed-ridden for 36hours while my family was visiting I have just flat-out had it with my right hip (and possibly my left if it doesn't start behaving again). I had been doing decently well for close to three weeks and then just as soon as I resumed some PT and strengthening of my pathetic atrophied glute muscles I got slammed with a massive flare-up the started on Wednesday around 4pm and didn't let up until Saturday afternoon. Consequently, I missed my sister's college graduation and dinner and was hopped up on pain killers for most of the time my family was in town. This is the situation that I cannot live with anymore -- not being able to plan even a week in advance because I don't know how my hip will respond and whether it will freak out on me. In two years I've yet to have a visit with my family in which I wasn't gimping around in pain. I'm really not asking for alot here -- just some consistency and the ability to plan a weekend trip or a vacation without worrying about trip insurance and change fees. I had a moment of clarity while I was sobering up from my 48-hrs of Tramadol-induced haze and I decided that I am DONE with this situation - I need a permanent solution and not a temporary patch. This isn't any way to live popping painkillers and anti-inflammatories like candy on a daily basis. Not when there is a solution out there that is much more reliable than my native hip. I don't care if I feel marginally better in 3 months. I don't care if I can ride a bike or snowshoe for an hour or swim. I don't care if I have days that are relatively pain free here and there. And I really don't care if I am in my 30s  and setting off metal detectors. I won't ever be able to return to any real level of activity on my current hip not to mention have a child and live a comfortable, engaging life and I see no reason to prolong the inevitable and wait it out until I am older and even less active.

And so I am gearing up for Round Number 3. I've thought seriously about going abroad given the cost and experience of the surgeons. Traveling 12 hours to Belgium or even 24 to Chennai, India to get my life back and be out of pain seems entirely worth it at this point in this saga. April will be the two-year anniversary of this ordeal -- what started out as a sports injury and is now a full-blown disability - and let's hope that April 2010 becomes a new kind of anniversary.

The Holding of Breaths

After realizing that my sanity (and marriage) depended on it I've been trying the WMD approach to pain management for my hip. It took about 2 weeks for the prescription strength NSAIDs to build up in my system and I've also brought in the reserves in the form of Flexor patches and Tramadol at night. Essentially, I'm trying to get the inflammation in my right hip down enough to be able to move forward with PT and a gradual return to activity. Over the last 12 days I've noticed a very subtle but significant improvement in my pain levels and function. While we were gone in Steamboat over T-day I did two 45 min-1 hr "walks" in the snow and didn't suffer terribly the next day and since then I've stayed moderately active with some biking, elliptical and even a one hour "hike" up Bear Canyon in the snow on Sunday. I haven't woken up in significant pain in over a week and any pain I have been experiencing has been the kind that I classify as moderately annoying versus all-out distracting.

I had my 5-week follow-up phone appointment with Sampson last week and we went over my op report and findings in greater detail since my memory was pretty hazy after surgery. He said he is not worried about my left but that it "remains to be seen" whether my right will heal or will have to eventually come out. I guess I am glad that he was more honest with me than I had anticipated and didn't just tell me that I would absolutely recover - at least this way I know I won't have such an uphill battle if I decide to "quit" and go metal.

I am incredibly thankful that no matter what this whole experience the second time around has been dramatically better in terms of how soon I've recovered from the surgery. I may have still had quite a bit of pain and I'm sure there is quite a bit more in my future but at 6 weeks I'm doing things that I wouldn't even have contemplated at 12 weeks last time around. I've even been cleared to snowshoe and x-country ski in a few weeks. Maybe the winter won't be so bad and by late February or early March I just might get an easy day out in the backcountry. As much as I miss real skiing like a hole in the heart I do have to admit that the pressure to be in 'tele shape' is so overwhelming every winter that I can put my efforts elsewhere.