The Countdown

Now that my surgery date is less than three weeks away, I've realized that I actually feel good about my hip for the first time in about eight months. Not that it doesn't hurt every day, not that I don't think about it hurting every day but knowing that I'm moving forward instead of stuck in this awful purgatory of not having a diagnosis has meant the proverbial cloud has lifted for a while. I've got a plan of action and although it doesn't mean there won't be problems down the road, at least there is a plan. I don't have to feel desperate searching for yet another opinion from a skeptical orthopedic surgeon or an over-confident chiropractor. Its going to get alot worse before it gets even remotely better but at least I know I'm on the right track. Six months, or eight months, or even a year isn't all that much time in the grand scheme of things when you have a path forward. When you don't, its interminable.

Oddly enough, I've found that I can skate ski and nordic ski without too much pain. I was actually able to go for close to two hours today at Eldora skating up and down little hills on my rented skinny skis. It doesn't make alot of sense unless you have some understanding of how a labral tear manifests itself. Since it isn't a pulled muscle or ligament sprain, its mostly about finding those activities which don't produce that catching pain of the labrum flapping over the bump on the femur (unpleasant thought, I know). Kicking my leg forward on an uphill slope with a heavy ski boot and tele ski attached is pretty brutal but kicking and gliding in a skate motion somehow stays in the right plane of movement. Just getting to be outside in the sunshine under a bluebird sky was so refreshing after the tedium of the last eight months droning back and forth in the pool or on the trainer bike. If I'm a little sore tomorrow - or even alot -- it was worth it as I actually felt good out there this afternoon.

That's another thing about having a plan. I'm not so worried when my hip is stiff and achy the next day because I know I'm not really making anything worse as far as the tear goes -- its just a question of my own pain tolerance and what I can put up with for three more weeks. Its not going to get better on its own so I don't have to feel guilty and depressed every time I wake up with a crappy hip after doing too much the day before. Three more weeks. I can handle three more weeks. That means only about 15,000 more yards in the pool and maybe another 4 or 5 hours on the bike. My PT is adamant that I continue to exercise my hip and stay in shape both mentally and physically as it will make my recovery go that much smoother and faster. My health insurance finally gave in and coughed up the dough for the $400 per box of super-potent anti-inflammatory patches I paste onto my groin every 12 hours (they're super sexy too). And thankfully, I've got four more weekend days in which to get outside and take in the beauty of winter in Colorado before its four walls, my laptop and a bunch of painkillers for the rest of ski season.